Uncomfortable Questions
There have been times in our lives when we have been asked questions for which we have no answer to. And sometimes, even when we do, we cannot say it out loud. Think of the time when your boss asked you if you will be able to meet the quarterly targets or when your spouse asked you if they have put on weight or, my favourite, when a five year old asked you where do babies come from. But, ordinary people, have only these regular questions to stump them. Celebrities, on the other hand, usually have no targets to meet, have apple watches to monitor their weight and questions from children are fielded by maids. To make them awkward, the questions need to be tailored to their singular, unique lives.
“All ordinary people are alike. Every celebrity is celebrated for its own unique reason” — Leo Tolstoy
For this reason, I decided to mix my favorite pastime, cricket, with my passion of watching people squirm and stutter, resulting in framing questions that I’d like to be asked to some cricketers:
Anil Kumble: In your fabled 10 wicket haul against Pakistan, how important was Azhar’s decision to change your end, seeing as how umpire Jayaprakash was more accepting of your LBW shouts?
Sourav Ganguly: How did you manage to create an image of a great captain and a batter, given your actual record?
Yuvraj Singh: At what vintage can a cricketer be expected to become self reliant and not lean on the management for “support”?
Gautam Gambhir: In what ways was your WC final knock more important than Dhoni’s?
Mark Waugh: If you had DRS in your time, how many more runs do you reckon would Sachin have scored against Australia?
Steve Waugh: Can you name 3 objective differences between abuse and mental disintegration?
ECB: Since English batting is facing a dearth of talent, how much can we blame the IPL for it and how much is the first class system of South Africa responsible?
Ricky Ponting: Whom do you think Rishabh Pant learned to challenge umpires’ decision from?
MS Dhoni: Do you think that the punishment Pant got for aforementioned behaviour was apt?
R Ashwin: Where’s the video series on the South Africa tour?
Sachin Tendulkar: How many more wins do you think India could have registered had you decided to retire on 99 tons?
Shahid Afridi: naah. Too easy.
Navjot Sidhu: What do you think was worse? Leaving BJP, Congress, or the England tour?
Tim Paine: Do you feel welcome at the Gabba?
Finally…
Ashutosh: Do you think you could have done something in life had you not wasted your years following cricket gossip?
